Will I actually keep up with this?

So, I started a new job last week...in a call center, which I said I would never do again.  It's not a scary place like I've heard from others about how tech support call centers can be.  It's pretty cool...the people are nice, there's no one breathing down your neck about meeting some ridiculously stringent metric set.  The start pay is insanely high in comparison to other call center jobs that I had heard of (in Austin, at least).  At the close of this week, my first full week, I find that I am in fact exhausted.  Why does this happen?  I look past at the last one...another not so bad environment, but after my six months there, I was sick, tired, depressed.  I slept nearly every day I came home from work, and neglected myself, gaining at least 20 pounds.  I look back yet further and remember going through a nearly two year phase in high school in which I would sleep after school, wake to eat and do my homework, and sleep for the night.  So, back to the here and now...I'm falling into that same pattern!  What the hell is this?  Is the prospect of having to be around numerous people all day long that tiring?  I can't imagine what the basis of this is...I don't fear them, I don't fear the job.  I have to think that my desire to be left in solitude is in constant struggle with the fact that I now have so many strangers, in person and on the phone, to deal with and mental struggles have no clear finish line as do physical challenges.  This is something that I don't think will ever change...it's who I am...but I think I will have to be extra vigilent to not neglect myself again, maybe I really should look into using the intrawebs to let it all out...another part of myself: I don't do so well talking about feelings and really personal stuff.  Ah fuck, I'm off to get a massage and get rid of at least one of the physical symptoms of this.

Today marks my first full week in Dallas.  I really, really wish that I had only taken a couple of days vacation and gone straight to work this week because I've been soooo homesick.  There's really not a whole lot to distract you from being completely alone when you're in a city you only know one person in and don't have a whole lot of cash available to do the tourist-y stuff yet.  My boyfriend is great and all, but he's not really prepared to play tourguide...

My cats adjusted surprisingly well to the new place and really seem to like Fred, so that's a good thing, I was very afraid that my youngest cat would show her displeasure by going to the bathroom on the only "carpeted" places here which are my couches and armchairs so I left plastic on for the first couple of days...but she's done very, very well.

I think that there will be good things to come from moving here once I get acclimated to my surroundings and become distracted with  work.  In addition to my full time job, I picked up a job on the weekends too, so I'll be doing a 7-day work week at about 60 hours to help combat that.  I also think that I might try a couple of classes this fall too...who knows.

On a side note to 

texasoddity

I added heavier weights to my work outs and I now have bruising in the back of my arm like someone beat me...I wonder if it's normal...

I checked my bank account last night and they took out my check for the deposit --- that makes it official!  ~happy dance~

It is amazing what your mind can trick you into when you're stressed.  My normal morning routine consists of 5 alarms that go off from 5am - 6am and after that last alarm I usually have to talk myself into getting up and ready to be close to on-time.  This morning I saw that it was 10 past the hour and that I NEEDED to be at work on time because I had to leave early (more on that in a bit).  So I scrambled around, showered, pet my cat, got dressed, pet my cat some more, found my shoes and keys, pet the cat again, and left when I realized it was 45 past the hour.  I resigned myself to the fact that I would be about 10 minutes late yet again and drove away.  On the way down Parmer I was looking around at how little traffic there was and silently thanking whatever is out there to thank --- it finally struck me when I merged onto the highway that the reason there was surprisingly little traffic was because it was in fact about to be 6am, not 7am.  Silly me!!!!

I guess because it was stuck in my mind that my day HAD to start early I just didn't realize the clock said 5:## and not 6:##.  Which brings me to the why -- my apartment fell through AGAIN and I'm going to see a place that is showing today at 6, so I get to leave at 2 from work, get to Dallas by 5:30 hopefully, see the place, eat dinner with Derf, and then hopefully get home by 11.

i hope with all my heart that there is a RHPS group when i move...the one in austin provided random fun when you didn't know what to do at midnight...granted i haven't been to one in AGES...but it was always nice to know that it was there.

Apartment hunting in a completely unfamiliar city is very painful.  I'm making myself paranoid after reading soooo many negative reviews on the internet about nearly every place that is in my price range (stupid student loans and car).  Why don't I just stay in Austin?  Oh, that's right...my chosen career is awesome but the current office is bass-ackwards and I have to move to Dallas to get things moving for myself.  In theory I could ditch my company altogether and start over with another in Austin - but some silly boy from Dallas seems like he might have something to say about it.  The sweet thing though is he said he'd wait for as long as it takes if I'm too scared to move right now.  Awwww....

I can't wait until this part of my life is settled and I can move onto being preoccupied with other things.